♥ Sweetie your sadly mistaken ♥

I am sorry that I stood up for what I think is right.
I didn't mean to make you leave my mom.
But now I have to pay the price for trying to be tough.
My mom is so unhappy with me.
She may have lost her boyfriend tonight, but I know for a fact I lost mine.
As I told him goodbye and that I loved him I heard the choking in his voice that sound as someone trys not to cry.
I am so tired of trying to me the big girl, to never let things get me down.
I lost my phone bcuz if I didn't he would leave.
I got called names tonight that I want to die for.

In a couple of hours I will be finding out if I am to move out and leave or if my moms bf is to leave her.

Either way I kno that is it my fault and those names are starting to become true at least for me.

I never intended to hurt him or myself but I just lost the love of mt life and hopefully soon to be my own life.

This just isn't good and I can't take much more. I am so sorry

Life is coming back to reality and fast. Church started tonight. It was nice to see my so called friends again. Church starts to bring the feeling of skool back, something I am not looking forward to. Well some Wed. I am being re-born in some words. Its like a tape worm once it gets in the more you feed it the bigger it gets and eventually it over powers or sucks you in.even though I am not saying no idk if I want this big change in my life??

While sitting on a couch watching blood in blood out with my moms bf or for some a soon to be step father (in no way am I ready to call anybody father or dad... Its just even remembering) things seem to just stand still as long as I don't sleep skool isn't any closer than 5 minutes ago.

In all today wasn't a huge waste I listend to garbage, cute is what we aim for, danger radio, and mayday parade today and took a shower =P
Boredom come pretty easy to this human

Why is it so hard to say goodbye to that one person?

In the past month a lot has gone on, some brought good news others not so sweet. I resently got back from a long awaited trip back home. It wasn't a very long trip and not many smiling faces, as I pulled up that long and dusty graveld road I relized that for the past 7 months I have had everything completely backwards. Home isn't a place or a loved ones house its a state of mind.

Post Falls Idaho never brought me the same feeling as being in my bed on lafayette st. But it did open my eyes to see how different people are. You wake and get ready for the day and you see all the faces you have seen for years you don't think much of it but when you wake and get "there" you see faces that aren't so open or for me some that just want to pick on you or beat you up.

A life story is only what you put on paper or all of the good stuff that happens.
You always hear about the "stars" and how messed up there life is or struggles they went through.

But god for bid you open up "US WEEKLY" and you read about a simple random person and how they fell in line or how they compare to say Peter and Ashlee,

If money and fame is what your looking for you came to the right place
The world isn't about love and peace it about the next pretty face you see in "Seventeen"

I can't wait to se everybody again =)))))

Its been tooo long

I love you all and see you all soon!!!!!!

Ye and I forgot wow things have fallin to shit so much that I fucking forgot about my own bithday well ye I am sick and sad and just plane out BLAH!!!!!

=((((

Favorite Quote:""Lets run away together to where time does not matter nor exist and stay there together ALWAYS AND FOREVER""

well there is not to much to say about me i guess.

i got a new hair cut on the 30 of March but i am sure most have noticed lol

umm i guess i will post pictures of Justin...long story but i am happy =))))

let me just tell you though i have never had sooo much troble uploading a journal lol

I MISS EVERYBODY SOOOO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!

pic1 lol---- meet the lower half  of Justin XP

next pic 2----gotta love them hats lol

pic3----meet the rest of justin XP

pic4----I love this picture

pic5---Justin as a lil kid...he is sooo cute =)))

pic6-----His best friend Alex...i love him he is sooo awesume!!!

CANT FORGET ABOUT ME...even though nothings changed really

pic7---am i a modle...i am soooo kidding i am to yucky!!!!

pic8---see not much has changed jusy gottin older and ye XP

idk nobody ever talks to me anymore anyways....WELL HOPE ALL IS GOING WELL

 

COMMENT IF U CARE LOL JK =))

 

 

Text me or something haha 208 215 0135 or add me on yahoo!!!!!! XXI_imiss_youXx@yahoo.com

i am not on much anymore sooo
add my Yahoo.......plz
or you can just e-mail me i will reply =))


xXI_miss_youXx@yahoo.com

or text me 208 215 0135

I won't be getting on here much anymore....... So if u really want to stay in touch TEXT ME!!!!!! PLZZZZ I don't want to just up and say goodbye =((((( so plzzzz text me =/
208 215 0135

Thnx XD

Just let me kno ur name lol

208 215 0135 hehehehe

THIS IS JUSTIN XDDD

 

I AM SOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not matter what u say and do I still will never be in love with you





It sux being left out



Let's just say I am giving up on everything

Roses are red
violets are korny
when i think of you
ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very Slowly,
if you kiss me,
don't be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!

"I'll be the boy you can't resist, You'll be the tenth girl on my list."

I never seem to talk to anybody on here anymore...well there r a couple but still not very often...

Idk is popularity just a game????

I haven't been there for u as much as I wld have liked but if u still care about me...and I didn't hurt you to much???
Send me a message...cuz I never got one did I????

I really like you...but ur to busy to notice =(

Not that it matters


"Were just pretty boys
For secret girls
Who never stood a chance in the world
I'm not ready for sincerity
I'd tell any lie to keep you listening"





"Oh I will die with out attention"



"Hold back your breath
In a year"




Maybe things will slow and u become responsive again?????

"When the hook sets in
And this all ends
I will wish it never began,
Oh I will die without attention"

I am so sorry I haven't been on in a while if you want to keep in touch with me send me an message and I will give you my e-mail



Again I am so sorry =(

Each year he sent her roses,
and the note would always say,
I love you even more this year,
than last year on this day.
My love for you will always grow,
with every passing year.
She knew this was the last time
that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses
in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know,
that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early,
way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy,
everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems and
placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside
the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours,
In her husbands favorite chair.
While staring at his picture,
and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was
to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude,
that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour,
The doorbell rang, and there
were roses sitting by her door.
She brought the roses in,
and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone,
to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him,
if he would explain, Why would someone would
do this to her, causing her such pain?
I know your husband passed away,
more than a year ago,
The owner said,
I knew youd call, and you would want to know.
The flowers you received today,
were paid for in advance.
Your husband always planned ahead,
he left nothing to chance.
There is a standing order,
that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance,
you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing,
that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years
ago. Then, should ever I find out that hes no longer here,
that's the card that should be sent to you the following year.
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking,
as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he
had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence,
this is what he wrote...
Hello my love, I know its been a year
since Ive been gone.
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to
overcome.
I know it must be lonely,
and the pain is very real.
Or if it was the other way,
I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything
so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say,
you were the perfect wife.
You were my friend and lover,
you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year,
but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy,
even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years.
When you get these roses,
think of all the happiness that we had together,
and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and
I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on,
you have some living still.
Please...try to find happiness,
while living out your days.
I know it is not easy,
but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year,
and they will only stop,
When your doors not answered,
when the florist stops to knock.
He will come five times that day,
in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit,
he will know without a doubt!
To take the roses to the place,
where Ive instructed him
and place the roses where we are,
together once again.
Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you cant stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.
This is Forever Friendship.