June 17, 2007

No Good Byes

 

As you put your hands on an inocent canvous

does it make you feel stronge if you leave marks

does it make you happy?

If i tell someone are you going to do it again you say

you love me does that make you a good painter?

If i say no will you loose your mind? If i fight back

will you hit harder?

But if i put you away will you come after me when

its all said and done? Because of your elbow in the

the boots in the back and the blow to the head. I got

dragged by the hair as the table flys on us. But you

have your way with me and blow your smoke in my

face as you speed away. Does that make you a man

to kick me down the stairs does that show me my place?

If i tell someone are you going to do it again?

You say you love me does that make you a good

dad? If I say No will you loose your mind? If I fight

back will you hit harder?

your my dad and i loved you now i hate you!

For everything and did i tell you its for always?

Does that mean Im lying? (You tell me you!)-

What if I hate you for everything and did i tell you

its for always

But theres more to me than i can see for now i am

called out alone waiting thinking to myself. You made

a mistake so you say you love me does that make

you a good dad?

Rachel(Buster)


Posted on 06/17/2007 4:41 PM Comments (2)

Devotion to a particular nation

 

I know there are people out there that may have it

worse, but you can only help people if you can

help yourself first. Knowing how to deal with it even

though it will never fully go away and you will

have thoughts of "what if" What if i would have

done this if i do this maybe i will be heard!?

Now that i know i have people all around me

knowing what i go through and dealing with it

the same way i do.

Somethings wrong but like i am going to run

to you for help if i cant solve it myself. It will

overflow and start over again. Then my mouth

will slip. I think it might just be over its just begining

all over again not that i would now right?

Every stitch i've stitched come undone and now

i am back at square one back to the beginning where

we all started from. I here the wind blowing my pain

maybe growing and tears flood my eyes just like

that druppy eyed puppy dogs crys.

Rachel(Buster)


Posted on 06/17/2007 4:39 PM Comments (0)

1 1/2 months

 

I wish you would just go away never thought i would see the

day but once it came it quickly went away.

You came back for a split second and you left again.

It wasn't tell i saw you i remembered how much i missed you.

I thought i had you then she found you and took you away. Then

i cought myself hurting myself. whats wrong with me? I thought

they were just friends but then he told her "i love you" one to

many times and she fell for him.

Now I'm on my own with my own problems and a hole lot of regret

on ever wanting anything from who that is the question. Symopothy

is the NEW love I took a guess on that you never intended to you

just passed by (stop here that might just be a sigh) On weather or not

i should believe you. (right,?Wrong,? what do you think?)

you thought i would believe in the lie well i forgot why and how

it is to feel true, true to myself and everyone around me truth is

i give up on you. I have since lost all youthful innocents. I feel

i have grown up to fast. And i have baryed the real me inside.

I live a lie i hade all emotions you never know what i am feeling.

I have gotten lost in myself. I need help to find some way out but i will

never let anyone in long enough to find me. Hurting myself is just

not me. I respect you but i give up on you completely. Untell

i find the real you along with my list of things to do but Number 1

is to find the true me

Rachel(Buster)


Posted on 06/17/2007 4:37 PM Comments (1)
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