♥ Sweetie your sadly mistaken ♥

I am sorry that I stood up for what I think is right.
I didn't mean to make you leave my mom.
But now I have to pay the price for trying to be tough.
My mom is so unhappy with me.
She may have lost her boyfriend tonight, but I know for a fact I lost mine.
As I told him goodbye and that I loved him I heard the choking in his voice that sound as someone trys not to cry.
I am so tired of trying to me the big girl, to never let things get me down.
I lost my phone bcuz if I didn't he would leave.
I got called names tonight that I want to die for.

In a couple of hours I will be finding out if I am to move out and leave or if my moms bf is to leave her.

Either way I kno that is it my fault and those names are starting to become true at least for me.

I never intended to hurt him or myself but I just lost the love of mt life and hopefully soon to be my own life.

This just isn't good and I can't take much more. I am so sorry

Life is coming back to reality and fast. Church started tonight. It was nice to see my so called friends again. Church starts to bring the feeling of skool back, something I am not looking forward to. Well some Wed. I am being re-born in some words. Its like a tape worm once it gets in the more you feed it the bigger it gets and eventually it over powers or sucks you in.even though I am not saying no idk if I want this big change in my life??

While sitting on a couch watching blood in blood out with my moms bf or for some a soon to be step father (in no way am I ready to call anybody father or dad... Its just even remembering) things seem to just stand still as long as I don't sleep skool isn't any closer than 5 minutes ago.

In all today wasn't a huge waste I listend to garbage, cute is what we aim for, danger radio, and mayday parade today and took a shower =P
Boredom come pretty easy to this human

Why is it so hard to say goodbye to that one person?

In the past month a lot has gone on, some brought good news others not so sweet. I resently got back from a long awaited trip back home. It wasn't a very long trip and not many smiling faces, as I pulled up that long and dusty graveld road I relized that for the past 7 months I have had everything completely backwards. Home isn't a place or a loved ones house its a state of mind.

Post Falls Idaho never brought me the same feeling as being in my bed on lafayette st. But it did open my eyes to see how different people are. You wake and get ready for the day and you see all the faces you have seen for years you don't think much of it but when you wake and get "there" you see faces that aren't so open or for me some that just want to pick on you or beat you up.

A life story is only what you put on paper or all of the good stuff that happens.
You always hear about the "stars" and how messed up there life is or struggles they went through.

But god for bid you open up "US WEEKLY" and you read about a simple random person and how they fell in line or how they compare to say Peter and Ashlee,

If money and fame is what your looking for you came to the right place
The world isn't about love and peace it about the next pretty face you see in "Seventeen"